Comfy Cozy Christmas

To my friends who read the blog, pour yourselves another eggnog because without you I don't know where I would be. Merry comfy cozy Christmas from me!

terminals

I never hold on when I change, terminals at ATL. It's a balance of grace in a place where I tripped and fell but if grace receives all my weight then it becomes a crutch and I don't wanna walk with a crutch so much that I can't stand taller than before. It splintered and I felt horrendous (lying through the gap in my teeth) when broken is when you can mend us so help me get back up on my feet. Just passing through trying to catch that glimpse of you.

Oil And Water

Gone when you get stuck, sleeping when you wake up, love around the other coast, off to the races, headed other places, chasing a fimiliar ghost. No one said it would be this hard, how could I know? Why do we always get so far before we let go? Cycle seasons watching you leave and thinking I could change the rules, rocks in the ocean, wheels in motion, wishing is a game of fools. Kicking screaming, softly speaking, we're all parting ways, we'll go wander oil and water while we separate. And we seperate nothing is the same forever, wish I could make you stay.

It's Christmas Time

It's Christmas time and I'm warm inside despite the bitter cold because you're here with me and I guarantee my heart is yours to hold so we smile below this mistletoe as if we need a hint and the falling snow well I bet it knows how love can pull you in. It's crystal clear that this Christmas cheer is healthy for the soul. Little lights flash in your eyes, growing by the fireside, leave the presents on the floor because you're the one I'm waiting for. Let me lead the way this holiday. Let's fly around the world tonight, I love the way you hold me tight, can't fight the way I feel inside, kiss me babe it's Christmas time.

She wound the thread around the pieces of my broken heart and left me to believe that girls don't wanna leave. A starry night without a fear of heights, I can't recall. I miss the way she whipsered in my ear before she left it had me so convinced and Juliet's romantic balcony wins out the war. When you're alone, I hope my ghost never leaves because when I'm home your painful memory is always haunting me. As you doze off tonight, I'll toss and turn. As your sweet dreams take flight, I'll crash and burn. While your heart flutters free, I still can't breath. As you stir in your sleep the though is killing me, when I see you around my eyes go wide, when you race throught my mind I die inside. I hope you think of me. 

Sahara

Lying on my side knowing of thirst is how I'll die, chalk on my tongue. Lying on the night beneath the dunes is where lie to block the sun. Trying to ignite some sort of passion from inside to overcome. This feeling of desertion can't be worse than never having anyone. A lion on his side was is the lying or his pride which brought him down, once the king of beasts but now they feast on the thoughts beneath his vacant crown. Trying to decide was it the lying or the pride which brought it down, to be alone, to be dethroned believe me I know all about it now. I never told you then that I'd be easy to love, supposedly I'm a man but I felt like cub. I wandered into the plains further and farther away not ever knowing that I'd never come back the same. As my organs gave way I swear I felt something burst it's been thirteen days and I'm dying of thirst. For the birds who prey I pray that someone else will get here first. I am not alone, I'll be alright just take these bones and breathe them back to life. So I'll ask one thing, just one thing of you. Don't ever turn me loose, even when I turn my back. 

Bombshell Blonde

That blonde she's a bomb, she's an atom bomb rigged up and ready to drop. Bad news I'm a fuse and I've met my match so stand back because it's about to go off. Her love is a drug laced with ecstacy and her charm is spiked with a spell, a hot mess in a dress gets the best of me. She's ice cold but she's making me melt. That vixen she's a master of disguise I see danger when I look in her eyes. She's so foxy she can lead to my demise so I'm running because I've run out of time. She's a bombshell blonde wired up to detonate and I'm James Bond live to die another day, high explosive dynamite, she's all I want so I am on a mission tonight. 

Embers

There were days when each hour was a war I fought to survive, there were nights full of nightmares and I dreaded closing my eyes, there were skies that burst open with a downpour to down me alive but the world took a spark like a match in the dark and the fire brought me alive. You'll find there'll be morning when the ashes and embers are cold, but you'll fight with a passion and you'll never stop because you know, it gets better and your story has yet to be told, every push, every shove, every war, every love the coals are beging to glow. We're burning bright as we all unite, and when it's all said and done we'll shine like the sun so don't let the fire die and we'll watch the sky as it fills with light and though the embers are new whatever you do just don't let the fire die.

The Thought

I learned something tonight. Something I never could really come to grips with until now, the life we've been given is full of mistakes, we make many day in and day out I've made plenty of mistakes and so have people in my past. I've finally come to grips with what it really means to live not to coast by but to live and that's when you put it all behind you and open your eyes and see that just because one mistake ruined one thing doesn't mean it ruins everything. It means you learned and you experienced but with that comes acceptance. Accepting that what happened, happened there's no changing the course of events and best you can do is go on living with the knowledge you've gained from then. Keeping your head in the right headspace and leaving the bad behind without a trace.  

Same Seas

Oceans still connect to the arms of the same sea. Isn't it all just part of the nature, piece of the buisness, part of the view, physical labor, human behavior, it's an illusion I'm passing though. 

A Link to the Past

Things were bad I won't lie, you were all gonna die but you're all alive because I kick arse, so you're welcome I guess. Either way I'm the best. There's a bunch of Links each of us distinct but I'm the best. I am number one, look how fast I run and I'm really fun. Guess I'm just blessed. Yes, I saved light and dark worlds, Zelda too and like six other girls. My quest was epic and long as is my dong. I bring bad guys to their knees, no no no no, no autographs please. I'm a gift to you from the gods, just admit you want my babies. You're like "wow sacra bleu we were deep in poo poo but Link showed up and waaaalaaaa we were free!" You were lost, stuck in bed, you were basically dead but you're all alive because of me. So you're welcome, no prob, I did a great job but I just did what you would've done! That's a joke obviously because it had to be me! I'm the Link who's the link to the past! 

Celestial Creatues

I keep my knees black and blue because they often hit the hardwood floor and I believe so I'm not praying to the ceiling anymore. 

Feels like I've been away for a thousand years, I'm tired of all these airports and souvinirs. I shiver in the night and I think of you, I stroll the boulevards, I stare up at the stars and wish they'd all align. You keep me on my toes, you never leave my mind. I'll send you the sunset I love the most, I'll melt in the moonlight and follow the shoreline on down the coast. I wonder all alone in the pouring rain, ride shotgun on the wind in a bullet train. I'm missing you and I'm thinking it out loud, I wish I could reach out and hold you close.

Maybe I'm Dreaming

Dive in, and swim away from your loneliness and miserable days. For this is the future and you are alive.

Wicked Little Machines

Captains and Cavalries forming empires in the shade of trees, without hesitation, we the King and Queen of the forest town were holding the ocean down. All the images and sounds, super imposing to old backgrounds. We used to be clumsy, lost in a thousand ways, Captivated by the craze, hold your hands down. Suspicion rose in our head It was only underneath the beds, Saline eyes didn't have to hide. They were always open way too wide, way too wide. Turn up the noise, dressed to the nines. 

Sharks Keep Moving

Sometimes I imagine I’m going to walk into a hotel elevator and meet someone during the trip to the lobby who will end up playing a role in the rest of my life. It’s as though the encounter is seconds away from willing itself into existence at any given moment, and had I a digital countdown, I could lean against the wallpaper and let the elevator doors open and close while I watch the second hand tick its way down to my rendezvous with destiny. On one hand, I’d have all the vernacular ammunition I’d ever need for a straight shot of eloquence, but to somehow convince myself that such a sacred encounter happening this way would be “theoretically ideal,” that would be like training my voice to speak with a harsh accent that hurts my ears. It’s not about destiny at all because Darth Vader ISN’T MY REAL DAD!!!!!!!1!! The bleakness of such a habitually forgetful/inattentive disposition unnerves me but it’s also what keeps me remembering where I am and what I’m supposed to be doing.

So in a way, musings like these have purpose. Or at least challenges I can benefit from.

Twenty years from now I imagine I’m going to feel like I missed out on something profoundly heartfelt when I look back on this pivotal scenario and the way it played out. Even if I loosen my grip long enough to steal an introspective moment out on the balcony, somehow I believe I’ll catch myself thinking, “I wish I’d been more assertive!” instead of idly letting life play out scene-by-scene in front of me. Maybe that’s just preconcerted apathy but my brain tends to harbor some deep-rooted necessity to keep reminding me that this fateful meeting could happen at any moment (and of course it could) but more importantly, that I be ready and waiting in the wings to handle it the way I’ve already anticipated.

It’s annoying but I’m so glad it doesn’t work like this. The caveat is that there’s NOTHING to be ANTICIPATED, or rather, it’s not my job to worry about it.

Call it the common dwellings of reticent people but at the end of the day, it’s all smoke and mirrors. My mind is a house standing against a background of sheltering trees that cannot protect it from every whip of wind that bends quasi-romantic intellectual faculties into deviations of straight lines; rigid projections of backbones that show signs of curving or arcing over time.

But I don’t worry about it.

But more than this, I’m deeply comforted to know that no amount of absentminded woolgathering can reconstruct “the plan” into something that I must practice or rehearse for, even if I wanted to. It will be unplanned, unpremeditated, extempore, unconstrained, unforced, and the thought becomes more beautiful the more I think about it (or perhaps the more I try not to).

Above and beyond all of this, I take great joy and comfort in knowing my Savior has it all blueprinted and planned down to the tiniest detail, and that my job isn’t to blubber and worry about the design — but to hush. To be concerned with the principles of morality, servanthood, discipleship and character, and ultimately, to trust.

For what is faith without trust?

How To Tell An Octopus From A Dolphin

The porpoise may well be our only hope. The octopus, by contrast, may well be our greatest enemy.

It is critical to distinguish between these two — one savior, the other archnemesis; one shining day, the other blackest night; one yang, the other yin, except in this case there’s no yang in the yin and no yin in the yang. But anyways.

It’s a well-known fact that an octopus can camouflage itself so that it looks like rocks or other underwater features of submarine landscape. The secret behind their color capability is a special skin cell called a chromatophore. Each chromatophore consists of three bags of pigment and by squeezing or expanding these bags, octopuses can change the color displayed by each cell, allowing millions of subtle combinations. Sneaky little menaces.

So if you thought they are always the same color then you obviously don’t know the first thing about octopuses.

How would you sum up an octopus in three words?
Vicious, vicious killers.

How about nine words?
Vicious, vicious killers who know exactly what they’re doing.

Can’t legal means be brought to bear?
Unfortunately, no. Octopuses, as they well know, are technically outside the reach of our laws and judicial systems.

What can I do?
It’s natural, after learning about what octopuses are really all about, to want to help in the effort to defend against them, but I’m afraid that it may already be too late. Despite this, there are some things we can do, and the valiant power of the human spirit (and the American Spirit!) are things that give us hope even in these times of woe. Here are some ideas, drawn from the playbook of real-life:

01. Spread the word.

02. Put up signs in your neighborhood explaining what’s wrong and how we’ve been misled by our own government (it’s not unpatriotic to criticize the government — what’s unpatriotic is not to care). Here are some slogans you can use for signs:

"The octopus is upon us!"

"If you were an octopus, where would you hide? In the den of Satan!"

"If squishy, squishable bodies are any indication of goodness, then octopuses must be saints! But in fact it’s the opposite — they’re the devil!"

"Don’t leave your baby with an octopus." (because it might eat the baby)

03. Be on the lookout for an octopus coming to get you — and if it comes to get you, give it “a little grief.”

04. Write to your member of Congress about the be-tentacled menace… but DON’T give away the game by showing that you know the real, honest truth. They’re all in on it.

05. Arm yourself with sea-salt, often called “Octopus’s-Bane.”

06. Use common sense. I call this the “N.T.O. rule”: Never Trust an Octopus, like with your valuables, purse, power tools, etc. It is liable to eat ANYTHING including a HUMAN BEING.

07. Again, use common sense. Would you leave your son or daughter with a known killer? No? Then why would you leave him/her with a known octopus?!

I think it’s obvious by now that the Octopus Question has no solution, only more questions. But it’s still the case that octopuses are as dangerous as terrorists in most U.S. cities, and in many, twice as dangerous (twice as many limbs to use for evil purposes). But somehow, even though the information is right in front of us, most of our countrymen prefer to snuggle with their wives and kids and thus ignore the ominous threat that looms before us as though it wasn’t even there at all. Classic.

Ignorance may be bliss but it is also a grave problem because knowledge is power, and with power comes responsibility. Responsibility to act. Responsibility to fight with courage and valor. Responsibility to fellow man. An octopus has eight tentacles and knows it how to use them. So, too, must we know how to use the tools that God has given us: our friendships and relationships; our brains and skills; our ability to create technologies that will stand the test of time. This fight will not be easy, nor will it be waged on the cheap. But it must be fought, and, indeed, won. The Octopus is not the Hydra: cut off its head and two more will not appear. It is merely a question of whether we can marshal our resources and act with sufficient speed. It’s true, we are down — but not out.

Are we our brother’s keeper? Only time will tell.

All those sun up's, long days, shortcuts, love notes, string struck, far always, close up's. Troubles test me, time unrests me but you guess me, get the best of me. Fall back, scarecrow in my marrow, shot an arrow through a sparrow,  I've crissed, I've crossed, I've kissed and it's costs, I've loved and I've lost and I owe Him a lot. We're just a mess of moments that's adding up to where we are and you're the frame and focus that's making sense of it so far. I'm not depressed or hopeless I'm only walking in a blur and your frame and focus, I'm the scene your the director. 

:(

There's an evil force spreading far and wide across this kingdom of pipes and fungus. We've seen the hell of each deadly turtle shell but a hero resides among us, not a towering man nor a daughnting knight, still a smart lion heart is he. There's a tyrant king with a reptile heart and he's started a wave of crime from his ship high above he's abducted my love for like the fourteenth or fifteenth time now. Who will stop this fool? Save the day? And win this war? Yes victoriously. I have hopped through his hordes all this blood on my shoes, with a murderous battle cry: "hoo-hoo!" I have burned him alive with the fire from my hands, every last one I vow shall die. And I run underneath as the tyrant leaps and I turn just in time as he finally reaps his recompants death by lava. And I run down the hall for I cannot wait, heading straight into the arms of my lover. "Thank you Mario but our princess is in another castle." "Oh..." 

There's an anguished man, with a forlorn face for it's cold and the nights are lonely. He looks all around but his princess can't be found. It's his fault, and his fault only. He brought on this war with a cocky gin. He hoisted this upon himself...

Forgiveness

Everything we've been striving for has turned into nothing more than bodies limp on the floor, victims of falling short. You can't see past the blood on my hands to see that we've been aptly damned. 

Will You Show Me The Way?

It's another bad dream, poison in my bloodstream. I'm dying but I can't scream. It's another wolf bite howling in the moonlight. I wanna get my life right. Will you show me the way?

If the darkness falls and my angel calls in my despair, will you be there?

In the darkest night when I need your light, will you show me the way?

If my time runs out and the sky falls down, despite my fear will you appear?

If the world goes blind and I lose my mind, will you show me the way?

It's another nightmare, I swear there's something out there, so saved me because I'm so scared. Will you show me the way? 

It's another werewolf all dressed up in sheeps wool and changing when the moon's full. 

Will you be there?

Brave Down The Open Road

My captain on His snowy horse, He's coming back to take me home. He'll find me fighting back the terrible thwarts because I'm not afraid to die alone. 

Where Do We Go From Here

"Now may God Himself, the God of peace, make you pure, belonging only to Him. May your whole self — spirit, soul, and body — be kept safe and without fault when our Lord Jesus Christ comes."

1 Thessalonians 5:23 (NCV)

Unravel the Mystery

"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

Ephesians 3:14-21

I listen to the sirens as they sing me back to sleep. I pray that nobody's seriously hurt, it feels like everything is dying at the pivot point of me but I listen to sirens that tell me things could still be worse. Without you I'm still whole. Departing from the hostiptal, ill news shows on your face too well. Trying to not cough it all, it hurts, all options are exhausted all your numbered days are number small. I miss you now, I loved you and I know things could still be worse. The sun still burns the shadows out but if this were our destiny I'd treasure the fact and I'd give you what's left of me if I held back.

Georgia

Savannah, I hope to be there by the morning and see the pine transforming into the arms of the Georgia sun. I'd love to feel heat the sun rise, brushing rays across my windshield as it dries the streams from off my face. And I know you'll be there because you'll know I'll want you to be there and we'll say hello as you're smiling in love and we'll sigh so relieved because we will both know by tonight and feel normal again. We sum up perfection like a handbook and God knows it all too well. Everything makes sense when you're with me. We'll walk out into the sultry evening, cotton breathing when the sea winds brush the hair down around your neck. You hold my hand like it's the first time, the feelings that are hard to find will be just what we expect. Baby, it's all I can do to thank you, because every time you wrap those arms around me, I felt I was home because everything makes sense when you're with me.

The Fate of Faith

I've met with the people in hiding, the six say that there are five people waiting to meet me as I grow? I don't quite understand, what they mean they say that they're all that's left, the only remnats of hope for the shadows. No demon would be on their side. The world here is wide and they say that all parts have been covered demons not a part here has been untouched so there could be no possible way for me too meet others who'd be willing to help me and the Ever Mourning.

The 3rd Sin

A chill breeze blows across the dark night sky, goosebumps arise as a boy stares into the space above. Tears gently flow from his stinging eyes, and his breathing steadies from his burning lungs. The thought of blood burns his brain. Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it. As each tear falls it floods the shadows. A clock strikes 3:15, it's in the am. It's quiet, the boy hears past the silence and he's voices whisper "do it, do it, do it, do it, do it" one voice in particular screams it at him. These voices chew at him until his ears are met with sudden sharp piercing noise, drops of blood form from this noise. He questions where this sin will be done, a place where nobody knows, it is then that he remembers the place where the trees curl and hold each other's wilted hands, the land of the dead.